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Legacy Questions 2 - "Am I Living Wisely Looking at The End?" "Markie, I Still Think I am 18."

Updated: Mar 29, 2021

My father Andre died on December 23rd 2020. He was one of the sweetest, kindest, optimistic people I have known. He was 89. He was his old happy self up until three weeks before he died. We thought he had a UTI but it was far worse. Cancer had invaded his bladder and kidneys. It was on steroids. He went fast.

He was in a wonderful hospital for almost three weeks until he came home and was in hospice care for thee days before he took his last breath. Just a week before, during one of his happy chatty times, he said, "You know Markie (his name for me) I still feel like I am 18. It doesn't feel any different. I think everything is still waiting for me to experience. Isn't that funny."

When we talk about Legacy and assessing life; what is most important to us and the decisions we make; we need to get real about where we are chronologically in the scope of life. For many of us there is a sense of invincibility, an open road that in our minds will never end. The fact that the road will end. It is either something we choose not to think about or insert ourselves into a "young self" which has a long runway not worthy of immediate attention.

Moses, one of the greatest teachers and leaders of history, tells us to stop, think, look at life and then make plans for the future that are wise.

"Teach me to number my days so that I can give my life to what matters...." Psalm 90 vs 12

We are pushed to excel, set goals, get life done according to formulas of past success, achieve and then when we get to a place where we have done what we started to do, an angst invades and calls us to stop, slow down, think and wonder, "how much longer do I have and how am I going to make it count?"

I ask you if you have stopped to put your life in perspective. Maybe you are 30, 50, 55, 70, I don't know. Life expectancy changes constantly and with the epidemic it went the wrong way for the first time in a long time.

Maybe a friend or schoolmate died and they were your age. The context of life just shook a little. It seems out of focus. It doesn't make sense because they are my age and people my age are not scheduled to die until I at least reach the average age for males of females in my zip code. You read their obituary and you started writing your own in your mind and tried to think what your loved ones, friends and others would say about my now done life.

All I want you to do today is to STOP. Stop and ask two very simple questions.

  1. Where am I in my life? I have lived 22,498 days. My life expectancy in my current zip code is 28,836 days. Here is a link that will help you calculate:

  2. Am I making the most of my days? Such a simple question but when we look at the various facets of our lives, seldom is the answer a resounding "YES!" It makes sense, all the sense in the world to STOP and ask, " I?"

I want you to give me a call if you want to talk about where you are and where you want to go. That is what Legacy is about. Asking these questions is difficult by yourself. Having someone who will push your thinking, explore options and help you get clarity can make al the difference.

Call me, I would love to connect. Mark Demos (425) 492-4300

The Legacy Forum is a concierge service that brings a depth of wisdom and experience to help you work through the most important issues and decisions of life. Having a team of world class professionals makes all the difference. We provide extensive in-home concierge services for families that include: crisis management, interventions, mental health issues, detox, addictions and educational consulting. We are a safe and confidential place to talk about your legacy and focus on your life, family, career, relationships, education, succession planning, philanthropy and other major issues. We help reduce the anxieties of today so you can walk confidently into your future!

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